Hey friends! Happy Thursday.
In case you missed it on Instagram- congrats to MARSHA for winning the Instant Pot Giveaway! She’s been notified and her Instant pot is on the way! Did you know that IP lovers refer to themselves as “potheads”? I just realized that in a facebook group :)
Earlier this week, I had an appointment with a neurosurgery office to get my back checked out. I’m not sure if I mentioned this on the blog but about two months ago, I fell down an entire flight of stairs after I slipped on the top step in my socks. I was carrying Lily when this happened and it was my natural instinct to hold her close to my chest during the fall. So my back unfortunately took the brunt of the fall.
I got some pretty good news at my doctor’s appointment that I don’t have anything structurally wrong- they even sent my xray to be reviewed by a radiologist just to make sure they weren’t missing anything. All good! Minus the part of the exam where they stuck me with a lancet up and down my legs to make sure I didn’t have any numbness. That wasn’t pleasant.
They said my pain is likely coming from avoiding using my back muscles out of pain and fear of injury, which has probably caused muscle weakness. I’m going to start PT next week to start safely strengthening my back muscles and hopefully I’ll be able to get back to regular exercise in about a month or so 
All of this leads me to something I wanted to talk to you today
How you look vs. how you feel
As you can imagine, my body has changed a little bit over the past two months with inactivity. My face is fuller, my thighs are thicker, my stomach is bigger and my arms are no longer toned. I actually weigh less than I did two months ago, which isn’t surprising since I’ve lost a lot of muscle (muscle weighs more than fat- another reason why weighing yourself is pointless FYI). I also generally feel sluggish and less energetic. It’s depressing when I come home in the evenings and feel like the only thing I can do is sit on the couch. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel a little bad about myself.
It would be easy to just focus on what I see in the mirror. And I’m sure I’m not the only person who has gone through something similar and felt the same way. But this is when, as a woman, I feel like it’s really important to focus on how we feel, not just how we look. We should try to understand the bigger picture.
Would I feel the same way if I just got home from an amazing bike ride, even if I looked the same as I do now? Heck no. Being able to be active is something that makes me feel happy and strong, regardless of how big my stomach is. Focusing on the aesthetics is just a small, unimportant piece of the big picture.
The next time you’re active (even if it’s just a walk!), try to embrace the way you feel afterwards instead of just worrying about how you look or if you’ve lost weight. When we nurture ourselves on the inside, the outside settles where it’s meant to be.
Have a nice week!
I’m so glad there is nothing wrong and a little bit of PT will get you back on track! That lancet poking thing sounds horrible!!! I hope it was over fast.
This post hits SO close to home for me. When I get home at night now I feel so tired and sometimes it’s hard to get anything done, whereas I used to go running for 60-90 minutes after work, come home and make dinner, watch TV with Adam and go to bed much later.
Not being able to run has definitely altered the way I feel about myself. I am lucky that I am not in a place mentally where I can push myself to lift and that has improved my general disposition. However, for a while last year when I wasn’t working out at all and feeling depressed, I felt bad about myself and started weighing myself daily on the scale. That’s something I honestly had not done since I was still struggling with bulimia.
I cut the scale out again pretty quickly because that’s not a road I want to travel down, but when I was running a lot I felt strong and happy with my body and never even really thought about getting on the scale. Crazy the impact working out can have on our minds!
Thank you, Kristina! I had my first appointment today and she spent some time trying to loosen up my back muscles. She wants me to do dry needling next week. I’m scared, lol. I’m hoping it won’t be as bad as when I had it on my knee because I won’t be able to see the needles going in.
I’m so glad you have lifting and hopefully you can get back to running soon. It’s crazy how much our emotional, physical and mental health is intertwined together. It’s almost like all areas suffer when one area suffers.